The first hint of trouble came when I realized that I had absolutely nothing to say. Oh, the minister had given me some guidelines, but "serving with our minds" wasn't exactly the bullet point outline I needed. I finally cobbled together something to fill the seven minutes allotted to me and set out, confidant that if I could not speak intelligently, I could at least grunt out something that sounded like words.
My second whack of trouble when I looked out over the group and remembered that there is something very special about my church, and that is the number of retired pastors among our membership. They're like their own little gang, complete with their own turf (a pew affectionately known as Preachers Row). Individually they are wonderful, kind, and loving people whom I adore.
Collectively, they scared the crap out of me.
I got through my talk somehow. I remember very little of what I said. And I can honestly say that it's
You would think I had learned my lesson.
You would be wrong.
A few days after my
I should have said no. I should have said that I would be celebrating my son's birthday. (It is the same day. So what if I'm in central New York and he's in Boston? I can still celebrate!) I should have assured her that I was having elective surgery that day, preferably to have my tongue removed.
Instead, because she is a wonderful, kind, and loving woman, I said yes.
And now I am doomed.
I have nothing to say. I talked to this group once before, two or three years ago, so they have already heard my comments about the myths and realities of writing romance. (Summary: no to feather boas, yes to sweaters with holes in the sleeves.) I see them every week, twice weekly for my fellow choir members, so they know all my stories already. Worse, I can't pretend to be witty, charming, or intelligent, because they have all seen me in my Spongebob costume, and believe me, there is no coming back from that.
I need to come up with a truly wow-worthy topic. And so, dear blog, I am coming to you.
What would YOU like to hear from a romance writer? What do YOU think would be worth leaving home to listen to? All suggestions will be welcomed with sobs of joy, and all comments will be entered into a drawing for a $10 gift card to the online book retailer of the winner's choice. (Drawing to be done Sunday May 14 at whatever time I get a chance to do it.)
Help me, Obi-Blog-a-Roni. You're my only hope.
And if you, like me, are now humming along to that old Bonnie Raitt tune, well ...