That title sounds like something from Dr. Seuss, doesn't it? LOL
A couple of things happened recently that had me wondering why we feel the need to change those around us. Why can't we allow others to express themselves in their own unique ways—to just be who they are?
Why should we all have to look alike?
Recently, I was at a party having a wonderful time chatting with a bunch of female friends and acquaintances when another woman showed up wearing a fabulous big chunky necklace. We all complimented her on it. One of the group who also wears larger jewellery said something like, "Chunky is the trend right now," and then, to my shock, shot a very pointed look at my neck and the necklace I wore, a single pearl dressed up with tiny diamonds on a delicate silver chain. Her meaning was clear, that I'm way out of the current fashion loop.
My response is, So what? It's a pretty necklace that has sentimental value for me. It also suits me to a T. I look terrible in big chunky jewellery, as though I'm trying to imitate someone else…or I'm playing dress up in my mother's clothes.
The chunky necklace suited the woman who was wearing it perfectly, but would have looked dreadful on me.
I dress nicely when I go out and am always presentable. So, why single me out because of the type of necklace I choose to wear? Very strange.
The other thing…I have a sister who is one year older than me and was charged with taking care of me when we were children, i.e. we walked to school together and she would hold my hand when we crossed the street. She did an admirable job until I was old enough to take care of my myself.
In some ways, though, she never stopped trying to take care of me and sometimes still gets bossy all of these decades later. Anyway, I wear minimal make up when I go out on any given day. I'm lucky to slap on some lipstick if I'm rushing out the door to pick up something for dinner.
When I'm involved in professional business, though, I use everything…but tastefully, for the same reason as the jewellery. If I slather on makeup too heavily, I look like I'm playing dress up. I look like I'm trying to be someone I'm not.
As it is, when I wear my version of what looks good on me, I look a tiny bit younger and I look professional. Isn't that enough? What more do I need really?
Guess who thinks I should be wearing a lot more? You guessed it. The older sister.
I've always been natural. What you see is what you get. Why be someone else when I can be me?
So what is it that these other women want? A validation that their style is best? Is imitation really the ultimate form of flattery? Would these women really want everyone around them to look like them? If we all dressed the same wouldn't they then resent that they no longer looked unique?
I'm not sure what their motivations are.
Have you ever had these kinds of incidents happen to you? What did you think motivated the people who were trying to change you?