Thursday, May 24, 2012

Happy Day!

I promise this won't be a saccharine post about how perfect my 26-year-old  marriage--as of today!-- is. Because my marriage isn't always a Harlequin romance. Shocking, I know.  Yet despite the everyday pitfalls of any long-term relationship, the common threads woven through all of the romance genre and solid partnerships do remain: trust, commitment, willingness to change, passion. They just don't always show up together or even singularly, each day.
A Harlequin Moment in Moscow 
How can it be 26 years already? 26 years since my husband and I committed to be together forever.  That "forever" sounds daunting. It was, and still can be. Time, age and reality have proved to me that my marriage and my investment in it starts anew each day. I can't take it for granted, ever.  Sometimes a long-term relationship doesn't work out, shouldn't work out.  I get it.  I'm not the Pollyanna of relationships. The pain is too real for too many of my friends who have suffered through acrimonious break-ups and divorces. Spouses stray after decades of what looked like the "ideal" couple. Again, I get it.
I can only speak to my current relationship, today.
The changes in myself in the past few decades have been amazing, albeit excruciatingly slow. Instead of thinking "that's it, I'm outta here!" at each altercation/disagreement, I'm usually laughing before I can even finish spewing off whatever great retort I thought I had. If I'm not so quick to see how silly I'm being, my husband points it out for me with one of his classic dry humor lines and again, I'm laughing.
Is marriage hard? Of course. Because life is hard and marriage to this great guy is how I've chosen to enjoy my life. How I choose to live it each day.  It's brought me the gifts of sacrifice, compassion, and just plain doing what I don't want to do when it's needed. Patience, did I mention patience?
As I write each new romance novel that shows up in my brain and then nests in my heart, I am aware that it's my job to show that this couple has and will have their challenges, too. They'll have their happily ever afters, as well. The strongest common thread through my life, my stories, your stories, the books we love to read and write, is love. The long-lasting, unconditional kind.
As long as he leaves the toilet seat down.

30 comments:

Roanna said...

Wonderful and authentic, as you always are, Geri. Very nicely written.

Dona B said...

Amen! Happy Anniversary, Geri and may you guys celebrate many more.
~Dona

Geri Krotow said...

Thanks so much Roanna! Your name means more to me than you realize--my heroine in my current work-in-progress (Whidbey Island #2) is named Roanna!

Geri Krotow said...

Thanks, Dona! You set the bar for being in a great marriage.

Pamela Hearon said...

Happy Anniversary, Geri! My husband and I have been married 26 years as of March 15:-) I love that stories "nest" in your heart. What a beautiful way of putting that. And the picture made me sigh. Wishing you many more years together.

Diana Cosby said...

Geri,
A huge congratulations as you celebrate your 26th anniversary. What a blessing, and I wish you both many more years of happiness together. I agree, life offers us each challenges that teach us so many incredible lessons. Live each day with intent - so important. As for the toilet seat thingy, my girlfriend has the perfect solution, she has her 'own' bathroom. LOL Again, congratulations! *Hugs*

Diana Cosby said...

:)

Geri Krotow said...

Thanks, Pamela! I was afraid my writing was a bit "gushy" but as I mature I find it's okay to let the emotions rip, so to speak.

Geri Krotow said...

Thanks Diana--when the kids are all moved out, then I will definitely have to consider my "own" bathroom, lol!

Beth Andrews said...

Happy anniversary! Loved the post and couldn't agree with you more about the challenges, and rewards, of marriage. But those happy endings make it all worth while :-)

Mary Brady said...

Congrats, Geri, on 26 years! Hope you have 26 more. It's worth the trouble.

Kathy Altman said...

What a lovely post, Geri! You make a wonderful point, that with each romance we read or write, we're reminded anew how vital--and how challenging--love is. Happy Anniversary! And here's to another 26 years!

Karina Bliss said...

Your post really struck a chord, Geri. Happy anniversary.
Karina

Rogenna Brewer said...

Happy Anniversayr and Congratulations, Geri!

Proff that the story is just beginning for the heroine/hero when we write the end.

Kristina Mathews said...

Happy Anniversary. I just celebrated my 19th on Tuesday. We've attended hundreds of weddings together, and I always like to give his hand a squeeze, renewing our vows in our own little way. Amazingly enough, the vast majority of the weddings we've been to are still together.

Geri Krotow said...

Thanks, Beth! Just like writing a book, right? The reward comes after the work.

Geri Krotow said...

Thanks, Mary. I hope we have at least 26 more, too.

Geri Krotow said...

Thanks, Kathy! That's what I love about writing romance. And why the steamy scenes can be so difficult to write, lol.

Geri Krotow said...

Thanks so much, Karina.

Geri Krotow said...

Thanks Rogenna. That is the truth, for sure. HEA...just the beginning. Sounds like a new series to me!

Geri Krotow said...

Oh Kristina, I love the idea of renewing your own vows at each wedding you attend! That's the height of romance...and commitment.

Jeannie Watt said...

Lovely post, Geri. Very inspiring and I love the last line! Congrats on 26!

linda s said...

Happy Anniversary. Last year we and 12 of our old friends all celebrated 40th anniversaries. We all worked in the same small city and were all married the same year. Someone must have dumped true love in the water supply.

Snookie said...

Happy Anniversary Geri! 1986 must have been a great year to get married! My husband and I will be married 26 yrs in October! Great post!

Maria Mohan said...

I do so agree - you have to start all over again each day. I'm 18 years in and I know.....

Geri Krotow said...

Thanks, Jeannie!

Geri Krotow said...

Linda that is so wonderful that you share your special anniversary with a group of friends. We need more of that water!

Geri Krotow said...

Hi Snookie--yes, 1986 was a good year, wasn't it? We have met other couples who married then, too. Wonder if the fact we're on the very end of the Baby Boom has anything to do with it?

Geri Krotow said...

Maria, what someone told me at 18 yrs and I'll offer you now is that each decade gets better! Truly. I didn't really get it at the time...some days I don't, still, but it's true.

Maria Mohan said...

Thanks Geri - I'll keep it in mind!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...