By Jeannie Watt
What is it with men and socks? Or at least the men in my life and socks?
When I was single, I had very few problems with socks, except for one or two that were eaten by the washing machine, but that’s just life. When I married, however, my relationship with socks—and not my own socks, mind you—started to change. Nothing earth shattering, but certain phenomena began repeating.
One of those is the Invisi-sock Phenomenon. Apparently the Y chromosome renders certain objects, including socks, temporarily invisible. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to stop doing important things, like reading blogs before getting ready for work, to find the missing pair of running/biking/hunting/white/brown/lucky socks that are sitting front and center in the sock drawer when I open it. When I hand them to my husband, the following exchange then ensues:
“Where did you find them!?”
“In the sock drawer.”
“I looked there!”
“I know you did. So, until tomorrow…”
Not to be smug, but in our several decades of married life, I have never once asked my husband to help me find my socks. My car keys, yes; my sun glasses, yes; but socks—never. (To be fair, however, I must mention that my husband rarely loses anything except his socks--and they aren't really lost. They're just invisible.)
After my son was born, I noticed another sock phenomenon that continues to this day. The Sock Shed, as in the boy sheds socks wherever he goes. If I want to find him, I follow the trail of socks. Even when he tries not to shed socks, he does. For instance, if I call a hotel because I think I’ve left something in the room, the first question I get after security checks the lost and found is, “Was it a sock?”.
So after many years of guy/sock dealings, I’ve developed a Y-chromosome-sock theory. Nature, through specialized evolution, has made it impossible for men to manage their socks and therefore they eventually realize that, unless they want to spend their days sockless and blistered, they need a mate. Then they are able to pass that Y-chromosome on to new generations.
What do you think? Does the Y-chromosome render objects invisible and make it impossible to keep socks under control?
Hey--you know what? I just realized this is my second hosiery post in a row. What is it with me and socks?